The 20^th Sunday After Trinity

SERMON

Text: Ephesians 5:23,25-27

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body….Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

In Christ Jesus, Who has appointed husbands to be the head of their wives, dear fellow redeemed:

Today we begin a series of four sermons considering the relationship and responsibilities of marriage partners over against each other as outlined by Scripture. Our sermons will summarize the material a small number of you have been and still are considering in depth in our biblical manhood and womanhood seminars on Sunday evenings. These messages are important for all of us, for marriage and family are the building blocks of human society. If you are married it is imperative that you understand these principles. If you are not married, chances are you may be some day, so listen closely. For those of you who never plan to marry, remember that the health of the community in which you live is dependent upon the health of its marriages and families. It is, therefore, imperative that all Christians understand and strive to put into practice God’s plan for marriage and family, for He having created both of these institutions knows how they will best function. Unfortunately, because of sin the biblical understanding of marital relationships and responsibilities is largely misunderstood and falsely characterized by our society. The problem is so serious that many Christian husbands and wives truly do not understand or put into practice God’s principles. This is most unfortunate. May the Spirit of our God bless our ongoing study!

Let us, therefore, jump right into the subject and talk about the husband’s “headship” in marriage. The world immediately complains that any talk of a husband’s “headship” is chauvinistic, politically incorrect, and should be dismissed out of hand. All too often Christian husbands retreat in the face of such opposition, failing to realize that the Bible does not make “headship” optional. Many times husbands fail to understand exactly what is meant, and how they are to serve as God’s appointed “heads” within marriage. As the hymn you just sang suggests to us husbands—let us fulfill our calling with boldness and without fear as we are led by Christ’s command and clear Scripture. From Scripture we can discover both Christ’s command and its meaning. In our text we learn that the whole concept of “headship” is patterned after our Savior’s relationship with His Church. Consequently, if we are both to understand and implement Christ’s command in this area, we have to recognize that CHRIST IS OUR SAVIOR AND OUR EXAMPLE!

I.

We see, first of all, that He is our head Who redeems and sanctifies us! Paul writes, “Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body…He gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Before we turn to Christ’s instructions to husbands, we need to understand the pattern upon which those instructions rest. If we don’t comprehend the pattern, we will never properly understand or implement the instructions. The pattern for a husband’s "headship" within marriage is based upon the picture of Christ as “head of the church.“ Christ is our “head.” We are His “body.” What does that mean? From a biblical perspective that means three things: 1) That Jesus Christ has been given the leadership role over the Church; 2) That Jesus Christ has been given authority over the Church; and 3) That Jesus Christ bears responsibility for the Church. Earlier in this epistle to the Ephesians, Paul writes concerning Christ’s leadership role and authority, “He (God the Father) put all things under His (Jesus’) feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church” (1:22). Later when speaking of Christ’s responsibility for the church, Paul informs us that Christ is busy as our head providing “gifts” to the various members of the Church, His body. His purpose is so that they will “grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies…causes growth in the body for the edifying of itself in love” (4:15-16). Christ, in other words, leads His church and exercises authority within His church by providing everything it needs to grow and become exactly what God intends it to be—mature, loving, supportive and prepared for the service God intends.

Now, how exactly does Christ do this? Paul says, first of all, that Christ is “the Savior of the body.” Jesus Christ was the ideal “head” of the church when He devoted Himself to saving it from sin, death, and Satan. This He did, in accordance with God’s divine plan, by giving Himself up for her. Jesus left His throne in heaven. He took on human flesh. He refrained from using His power to glorify and enrich Himself with all of the glittering fantasies this world offers. Rather, we are told in Scripture, He “made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant…He humbled Himself to the point of death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:7-8). This He did so that He might redeem us. He bought us back from sin and death. We would surely have died in our sins forever were it not for the grace and compassion of our “head”—our Savior Jesus!

He did this to lay claim to us, so that “He might sanctify and cleanse it (us) with the washing of water by the word.” The work of our Savior had a specific purpose. He wanted to redeem us from sin in order to “purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works” (Titus 2:14). When the gospel is preached, Holy Spirit works saving faith in the hearts of individuals. This is done when the Spirit leads us to repent of our sins and so to be cleansed of those sins. We, who by nature are sinful and unclean, are in this way covered by the blood and righteousness of our Savior Jesus Christ. In God’s eyes we stand as “holy and unblemished”—a bride fit for His Son! This, then, is the pattern for a husband’s "headship" within marriage—Jesus Christ, Who as head of the church, redeems and sanctifies us! CHRIST IS OUR SAVIOR! HE IS ALSO OUR EXAMPLE!

II.

As such He is our head Who instructs us! Our text tells us, “the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church….Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.” Our society today and, unfortunately, all too often Christian men stop with the first phrase of that passage, “the husband is the head of the wife,” and decide to define its meaning on their own. Consequently, society decries as male dominance and abuse what they perceive the biblical concept of the “headship” of the husband, while all too many Christian men fall into the trap of the old German attitude, “Ich bin der Herr im Hause!” (“I am the head of this house.”), which means everybody better jump when I speak and serve as I command! Neither of these perceptions is true to the biblical concept of the “headship” of the husband within marriage.

“Headship” within the marital relationship involves a leadership role, the exercise of authority, and ultimate responsibility, but all within the framework of the pattern established by Christ! I am to lead my wife with her best interests at heart, as Jesus did the Church, sacrificing my personal needs and desire, if necessary, to achieve God’s goals for her. I am to exercise authority not to serve myself and my own needs—Christ does not make His church into a servant-girl—berated and subdued, but rather to meet the needs and promote the growth of my wife and family. Finally, I am responsible before God for my leadership and exercise of the authority. God has entrusted my wife to me for a brief time. She is one of His daughters. Through my “headship” I am to help prepare her to be Christ’s bride throughout eternity! Biblical “headship” in a way and as the examples of Scripture describe is similar to being the foreman on a construction project—you are responsible to build a glorious structure in accordance with the specified plan in order to achieve the ultimate good!

Let us consider some of these thoughts further. If you study the Scriptures with regard to the exercise of biblical “headship,” you will find two words used repeatedly—rule and provide. Now the word “provide” is easy to understand. As husbands we have the responsibility to provide for the needs of our wives and families, but what does the word “rule” imply. Many people conjure up pictures of the brutal control of despotic or self-indulgent leaders in world history—Genghis Khan or Louis XIV, but this is not what Scripture is talking about. Literally, the word used for “rule” in Christ’s instructions to husbands means “to stand in front of”—yes, “to stand in front of” to protect and to provide. The object is not, therefore, to demonstrate that I am in control—“I’m the head and you better obey me!” Rather, it is I am here to lead the way that God has prescribed. I am here to protect you from harm, to provide for your needs, to equip you for your God-given calling, and to prepare you for an eternity with your Savior!

These, then, are our instructions, husbands. We are to lead as Christ led. We are to love as Christ loved. We are to be servant-leaders, who see the needs and seek to meet those needs. We are to build our wives up with God’s Word and equip them to undertake their God-given callings wherever they may be. We are to create an environment of love and security—befitting a daughter of God and future bride of Christ! If we fulfill our “headship” calling properly, our wives should not have to fear, for they should know that they are safe, secure, and loved even as Christ protects, provides for, and loves the Church! That’s a far cry, isn’t it from sitting on the couch in front of the television and calling out, “Honey, get me another beer!” That’s a far cry from raising our voices to intimidate, to control, and to bring about submission on the part of our wives. That’s a far cry from passively sitting back and letting our wives assume responsibility for what goes on in the home and within the spiritual lives of our families. Husbands, we have a calling from God. We have been assigned the role of “headship.” It is not something that is optional. God instructs us to be the head of our wives, as Christ is the head of His Church!

Will we fail? Yes, surely from time to time and perhaps more often! What is the solution? Backing off, doing nothing, continuing in a sinful pattern of life? No, the solution is to fall down in repentance before Christ, Who is our Savior! He has promised to forgive us and to renew us. He has promised to give us the necessary wisdom and has provided His Holy Spirit to give us the necessary strength! Oh, things may not change over night. If we have failed to understand and fulfill our “headship” responsibilities in the past, if unbiblical patterns of life have established themselves within our marriages and families, it may take some time to sort these matters out and achieve our God-given goals. But, if such is the case for you and your marriage, turn to Your God and listen to the instructions of Your Savior. Discuss these principles with your spouse. Lay out your concerns before God in prayer. He will listen and promises to respond. He will not fail us as we strive to assume the responsibilities He has given us. Let us finally, husbands, keep in mind the goal—by God’s grace and under His guidance we together with our wives and families want to meet our Lord at the end of time and always be with our Lord! Amen.

—Pastor Paul D. Nolting